How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I have decided that a Nickelback cover band would be the pinnacle of loserdom.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
Amazing. Super drunk. We stole a street sign in a golf cart and went around jousting trash cans all night.
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
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