Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
I couldn't even finish, she was lounder and more annoying than DJ Khaled
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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