Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I never doubt that you might be drinking at any moment.
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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