I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
Randomize
