I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
the woman that waxes my lady parts just hugged me...
were you wearing pants?
no.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
Randomize
