Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Randomize
