I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Why isn't there a sort by hair color option on Facebook? It would make stalking much easier.
Chef at hibachi place learned it was my bday and sprayed 20 second count worth of saki in my mouth. Not sure it was the right image to share with my kids, but thought you'd be proud.
Remember when I referred to my box of wine as my briefcase and made all of those stupid jokes about working overtime? Thanks for ignoring my cry for help.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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