I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I'm not asking you to commit. I'm politely asking your penis to be my friend.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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