party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
So bad news they put a private property sign on the tiger.
Until they install cameras or armed security i'll ride the fuck out of that jungle cat.
I drank myself into bisexuality again.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
