just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
He has some good qualities. Beneath the layers of asshole and fat.
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Try eating a sub blackout with your uncle. It's not easy ok
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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