I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
I'm going to email her once I get off the bathroom floor
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
I'm the saddest girl in a tutu right now.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
Randomize
