Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
He just brought me a wine glass. Full of Tequila. Ignore any texts after this one.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
We were like ok let's be eachothers maid of honor and then you were like "ok see you at the wedding" and walked away
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
My mom's yelling at me for being a whore and my dad's quizzing me on how to drive in winter weather....I'm home!
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i did these weird ass ab exercises once that left me queefing for weeks
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Randomize
