So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I'm not entirely sure how getting 'house drunk' turned into us getting trashed, being serenaded by karaoke and going out. But it needs to happen again.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
I cant go through life without knowing what ginger pubes actually look like
I'm with jana at walgreens picking out penis rings.... Did you know they sell vibrators at walgreens? Wtf?
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