im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
Either she's trying to smother me and failing, or she just has a really bad sense of where her tits should go.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
