i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
its hard to say precisely how it happened, but the next thing i knew i was on top of a mountain
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
