We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
