It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
