I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
