If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
i can't believe i never thought of this: farticle man
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I've been at work 30 min broke a paper towel holder a chair set a box on fire and fell down twice. Hungover Brian just reached a new level
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
How do I let my trainer know I'm only at the gym so I can get in more intense sex positions?
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
