I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
