i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Turns out my drunken logic and wordsmithing isn't quite the same as the sober version. I'm pretty sure I made fun of the managers mom at one point
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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