brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Tell him I'm the girl who was excited he spoke English. Then ask him where he picked me up from.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
oh and i figured out why we kept smelling vomit. ive got vomit on my socks. putting the heater on my feet was not the best of ideas.
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