What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Turns out the guy I peed on gave me a ride back to my dorm this morning.
You are a god.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
So vagazzling was a success
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize