Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
He may only be 25% black, but after that sexual experience I am 100% never going back.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
Im having a st. Get way fucked till i speak Irish pre game party. Bring a compass cause we are about to get lost
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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