So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Dude. Where are you? I'm making waffles in the waffle iron. It's beautiful.
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
