dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
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