Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Screw it. I'll show up in a white dress with a sign that says " I fucked the groom and it wasn't that great."
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just successfully went through airport security with shrooms. It's gonna be a fucking awesome new years
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
Randomize
