No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
where am i from again
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
im returning my roomates shirt with a "i got laid in this" thank you note
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
I've got to stop giving the gift of vagina for every occasion. I'm exhausted.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I'm beer bonging chocolate fondue. That's how my Valentines Day is going.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
