She is in my trunk
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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