The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
I remember sitting in your lap naked saying I don't want to be all looks while you gently rocked me back and forth
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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