I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
I made a mac n' cheesicle. Better in my head than in real life. Gonna keep smoking to see if it gets better.
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
And you know what the worst part is? Because of him I can now relate to a goddamn Taylor Swift song. FUCK. MY. LIFE.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
