guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
bar tonight had a doorbell to get in and last night i saw my neighbors fuck on the balcony, she wore a nurse outfit. Missouri isn't so bad...
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
Randomize
