If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
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