Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
What a fucking waste of an outfit
Walking by Farrand Field is better than a porno right now.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i was really disappointed no one would drink beer from our cleavage last night except for us
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
first he passed out on the toilet...then hugged it and screamed no no no as i tried to pull him out
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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