I pretty much can't stop smiling when I talk to you. Even when you talk about disease and infectious diarrhea.
The midget we rented got so drunk last night he got carted off in an ambulance
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I may have played more drinking games with my family this last week than all of freshman year...
Just traded a shot of whiskey for a warm PBR on public transit. It's that's sort of night already.
Last night I had a sex dream about Trudeau, he hasn't even been prime minister for 24 hours
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
