If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
You don't understand!!! BACON ROSES!!! Why are you not more excited?!
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
Randomize
