I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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