saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Randomize
