I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Ive only seen a dude masterbate on a train twice, once on the Jtrain and once on the Ftrain... trust me you never wanna see where the subway turns around.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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