I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
