He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
I slept with him because his girlfriend should know better than to be with him given is reputation. It was like sex and a lesson all in one.
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
ok first of all what the fuck
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize
