Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Just escaped from the ER. Meet me at the bar in 20 minutes.
Randomize
