Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
you're right. a strip only looks good in porn . mine just looks like a fucked up mullet
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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