why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
I seriously need 2 stop fake jacking off in peoples faces at work...the I.T. Guy just showed me the security surveillance tapes.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
When my parents ask, do you think "he was the cop I gave head to in order to get out of a speeding ticket" will suffice as to how we met?
Randomize