Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
So I bet a guy he could drink two irish car bombs faster than me and I lost. now he gets to name our first son. sory.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Randomize
