Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Just did. I played that shit out so casual I deserve an Oscar. Or am Emmy, or whatever the fuck you get for acting like a boss
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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