matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
is wine microwaveable?
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
seeing two freshman taking a cab home at noon on a Monday makes me realize how much worse my life choices could have been
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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