it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
How did you even find out?
Because you came up to me and said "I just fucked in the bathroom."
Oh.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Randomize
