is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
stopped you just in time from sledding down the roof.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
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