There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Two things. 1 - I want to apologize for my drunkeness last night. 2 - I want to pre-apologize for my anticipated drunkeness tonight.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
Randomize
