My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
That fat broad you banged out last night is still here and I can hear her snoring through the living room wall. I would leave, but I don't want to come home to an empty fridge.
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Randomize
