Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
You didn't want to have sex last night because you said your grandpa just died and you didn't want him watching..
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I'll be gone when you wake up but you hit a girl so I knocked you out. Never hit a girl. Unless it's with your penis.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Its a good night when you get to makeout with a cowboy
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize