Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
Apparently it's bring your ugly annoying ass piece of shit slob of a baby day at work
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I let him use my phone and now I keep getting gay cruise ads, I guess he forgot to mention something.
To be fair, this is a tequila-while-rewatching-Benedict-Cumberbatch-as-Van-Gogh idea, so I don't know if it will hold up tomorrow.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
Randomize
