hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
The cop left me alone after I gave her my spare snow cone. It was a hot and humid day and that uniform looked stuffy. Yay stoner me for overindulging in icy treats.
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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