What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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