I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Blackout barefoot maybe pregnant
Good decisions....
Just got blue box Mac and cheese things are looking up
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
is it bad that I didn't wash the cum out of my hair because it keeps my curls intact?
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just high enough for therapy.
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
Randomize
