is it bad that I sent her a picture of my penis on her husbands birthday?
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I'm just walking around Lowe's groping the carpets....
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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