I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Hands down, the girl passed out in the bathroom was the best looking. Concious or not.
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Randomize
