Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
sex in a hospital.. check
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize