She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
my mom hid the smirnoff from me. this is the most fucked up game of hide and seek EVER
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Randomize