My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
They're like penises that have been put in a blender.
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You know how hard it is to jerk off in a bathtub with a dog staring at you?
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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