she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
