remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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